


happy new year, butters stotch!

by cyberbullystar, kyman420



Series: The Clapverse [5]
Category: South Park
Genre: Biphobia, M/M, New Years, Slut Shaming, bi erasure, the b in lgbt stands for butters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 07:29:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18751813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyberbullystar/pseuds/cyberbullystar, https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyman420/pseuds/kyman420
Summary: Butters learns something new from Kenny on New Year’s.





	happy new year, butters stotch!

“It’s new year’s eve, Butters. Do you know what this means?” Kenny took Butters’ soft white hands in his. 

 

“Gee, I don’t know, Kenny? Does it mean, huh, that I won’t be grounded today?” Butters was confused as usual. 

 

“It’s the night we do games and then you kiss someone at midnight,” Kenny said sluttily. 

 

“Huh-okay, what kind of games will we be playin’?” Butters asked. “Like uh, ninjas maybe?”

 

“No, Butters, we’re having a white competition.” Kenny said this as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

 

“Wh-what’s a white competition? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that,” Butters said.He took a sip from his Starbucks cup.

 

Kenny looked down at Butters’ Ugg boots. He was also wearing a Texas shirt. Kenny knew he was going up against a tough opponent.

 

“Butters,” Kenny said. “We’re both white, but I can’t tell who’s whiter.”

 

“B-but I ain’t white!” Butters protested. “I’m a Native Hawaiian! You know this!”

 

Kenny tilted his head. “Butters,” Kenny said slowly, “what’s that you’re drinking?”

 

“It’s a pumpkin spice latte!” Butters said enthusiastically. “It’s the best drink they have right now. Well, I’m gonna be so sad when they—“

 

“I just drink water,” Kenny interrupted. “Pumpkin spice lattes are for rich people.”

 

Butters didn’t seem to notice, going on about his pumpkin spice latte. 

 

Kenny looked at the clock. It was already 11:55. There were five minutes until midnight, and five minutes until they would find someone to kiss. 

 

“Butters,” Kenny said. “Forget the games. It’s almost midnight.” Kenny smiled at Butters in a different kind of way. 

 

The time finally changed to 12:00 am, and Kenny took Butters’ soft white hands again. 

 

“Happy new year, Leo,” Kenny whispered because everyone likes to make Kenny call Butters by his real name. “I like-like you, and you know what this means.”  😏

 

“Huh?!” Butters exclaimed. “But I don’t have—“

 

Butters was cut off by Kenny kissing him.

 

“Uh, gosh, Ken. Huh, I didn’t know you were gay!” Butters said when they broke apart. 

 

Kenny looked at him blankly. “I’m not?” he said in a Lin-Manuel Miranda Hamilton voice. 

 

“But…but you just said you like-like me!” Butters said whitely. 

 

“I’m a slut. Kyle told me.”

 

“A-are you sure you’re not, uh, a little bi-curious like me?” Butters was thoroughly confused. 

 

“Bi-curious isn’t a thing. You’re a slut too, Butters,” Kenny said. 

 

Butters thought about this for a split second. “Hmm…well gee Kenny, I guess you’re right, huh?”

 

“Yeah,” Kenny agreed. “It’s not gay if you’re straight. Just keep your tongue in your mouth, you taste disgusting.”

 

Kenny winked and kissed Butters again, being the slut he is. 

 

“B-but I thought it was LGBT…” Butters said.

 

Kenny laughed. He knew this all too well. “It’s SLGBT. You know, the ‘S’ stands for sluts. And the B just stands for Butters. You’re either gay or just gay for Butters and he’s the only person you’re willing to drive 9 hours through a desert for.”

 

And as if to prove Kenny’s point, Kyle barged in, ass clapping, and grabbed Kenny and started sucking on his face. 

 

Butters gaped at the sight. Maybe Kenny really  _was_ a slut. 

**Author's Note:**

> I’m the S in SLGBT what about you? :) Let us know in the comments!


End file.
